If, during the perplexing popularity of the no-makeup selfie, you realised you’d rather see the finest men in media sporting enough slap to make a drag queen wince instead of women inadvertently adopting a polar bear… then the Vizeum pub quiz was for you.
It was hosted at the Old Crown by the wonderful yet terrifying Amy Bee Sting, a quiz mistress armed with not-so-vague threats of sharpened cocktail sticks to prospective cheats.
The format was simple. Eight teams, seven rounds, and a game of egg Russian roulette set against a palpable sense of hostility between the teams that created a tinderbox of tension – if you were an excitable junior reporter at the Daily Mail.
Kicking off proceedings was the cocktail round. Vizeumites, who are never ones to shy away from a drink, embarked on whispered conversations about whether a Screwdriver was made with vodka and if you could look masculine drinking a Cosmopolitan.
Next up was the newspaper round where hours of client presentation experience came into its own for the planners of Vizeum. The task was to create an alternative headline from the day’s London Evening Standard then write and present the corresponding report. Fortunately, it had been a great day for news, with stories about Nigella, Tom Cruise and Michael Buble along with the lamentably underused word ‘rampage’.
I celebrated having the PR manager on my team – the fastest man in the west with a press release – and head of insight Emerson Bramwell, who demonstrated a dab hand with a pair of scissors, a glue stick and the strategic placement of Tom Cruise’s hand.
At this point, I have been asked by the agency’s legal team to make it entirely clear that all stories produced were the imagination of Vizeum employees and in no way related to real events.
We then settled into more traditional fare by testing the agency’s general knowledge. A bespoke Vizeum round also meant we discovered who was described as an ‘absolute toad’ in the Playboy of the Year nominations at last year’s away day.
However, it was the male make-up selfies that stole the show. Using industrial-strength cosmetics, a truckload of glitter and the expertise of a kitten steering a tank, the nominated men of Vizeum went to work. Pouting more than Derek Zoolander during a walk-off, the results were a mixture of impressive, terrifying and surreal.
The quiz came to a close with the eagerly-anticipated Egg Russian Roulette round. For those unfamiliar with the game, a nominated member of each team comes forward and takes it in turn to break a hardboiled egg over their head. The catch? One of the eggs isn’t boiled.
Special mention here goes to Kelly Fung, who was the only girl to take part, although admittedly she didn’t know what the round entailed.
Once the lucky round winner, Joe ‘The Guns’ Chapman, wiped away the lingering yoke, the results were totted up and Chris Langley’s team were named the winners. From there, all that was left to do was close the bar tab, wash off the make-up and declare the night an all-round success!
Georgina Burrows, Sports & Social Committee Chair, Vizeum UK